Some time ago an this adage came across my awareness:
Every day at 5:00 pm, Dad would come home after a heavy day at the office. His little boy, who was 4 years old, would come running down the stairs shouting, “Daddy’s home, Daddy’s home” and he would jump into his father’s arms begging him to play with him for a while. But, his father, who had worked hard all day, was too tired to play right this moment and would tell his son, “Not now, maybe after dinner”. His son would reply, “OK Daddy, after supper, then we’ll play.”
After dinner, Dad would head for the living-room, especially after those heavy meals and crash on the sofa in front of the TV. The little boy would come rushing into the living-room, full of smiles and glee, all ready to play with his Daddy, only to be disappointed to see his Dad asleep on the couch.
This went on for sometime and quite frankly, the little boy was getting a little bit tired of this situation, so he decided, this Sunday, he would get his Daddy to play with him, no matter what.
Sunday came, and the little boy knew that today was the day and he could hardly wait to get playing with Dad. What the little boy didn’t know that today, this Sunday was the day of the Super Bowl and every father in the country was getting ready to watch the Super Bowl on TV.
Dad was in the living room getting all set up. The TV was positioned just right, his bowl of potato chips was within arms reach, his remote strategically placed on his right for quick control. He was just settling in on the couch when his little boy came running into the living-room, jumped into his Daddy’s lap, snatching the remote from him and turning the Super Bowl off, laughing and giggling and tickling his father, saying, “come on Daddy let’s play…we’re going play today no matter what!” But his Dad didn’t want to play, he wanted to watch the Super Bowl and this was really getting him upset.
His Daddy did however love him and he didn’t want to scold him for interrupting his Super Bowl, so he needed a diversion. And then it hit him, oh it was a clever plan, a most ingenious scheme that would keep his son busy so he’d have plenty of time to watch the Super Bowl all afternoon.
On the coffee table, Dad saw a magazine with a picture of planet earth on the front cover. He said to his son, Do you see this picture of world, tearing the cover off the magazine? The little boy replied “yes”, thinking he finally had won, his Dad was going to now play with him! Taking the little boy to the kitchen table and ripping the picture of the world into little pieces, mixing them up on the table and giving his son some scotch tape he said, “When you put the picture back together then we’ll play OK?” He son said, “OK Daddy” and started to work on the puzzle. Dad went back to the living-room, sat on the couch getting comfortable and turning the Super Bowl back on, thinking to himself, it will take him all afternoon for him to figure that puzzle out.
Dad had no sooner started watching the game when his son came running into the living-room, shouting with glee, “I did it, I did it, look Daddy I did it, I taped the picture back together!” His Dad couldn’t believe his eyes saying, “How, how did you do it so fast?” This little boy looked up at his daddy and said, “When you tore the cover off the magazine, I noticed a picture of a little boy on the back of it. I just knew if I pasted that little boy back together, the world would come together too.”
Now, in the moment I did not truly understand the depth of the general truth this adage was conveying. It would not be until now, at 28 years of age that I am beginning to understand what it meant, I think.
I have always wanted to “change the world”, a dream I have possessed for some time. And with that dream, came a focus that was external. My behaviors and actions were dependent upon what was outside, or outside of me. And with a dream of “change the world”, everything outside of me was the problem, the world needed fixing. And so, l lived with that lens for some time. I also experienced a lot of frustration, pain and suffering because of that lens.
But, now I see the world through a different lens. I think “changing the world” is not an external pursuit, but an inward one. I am coming to discover that when I change my world, then the outside world will change. When I focus on the problems I am creating in the world, when I put the man back together, the world comes together.
Coming into this awareness has taught me that the less I focus on what is external to me, what I have no control over and instead focus on what is internal, my internal world, myself, the world will change.
A simple example is a made bed. A year ago, if I would have woken up and I either did not make my bed or could not make my bed, that would have bothered me. My thought process: “My bed is not made, so that means I am not cleanly, so that means I am not disciplined, I am not…” the thought pattern would go on. The bed had to be made (external world problem) or I would not be okay, I would be upset or frustrated, it would affect my effect!
Now, the bed made or not changes nothing. It is either made or it is not. The external problem did not change, I did. My perspective of what a made bed meant changed, and my response to that perspective changed as well. Yes, I may experience frustration, but now I understand my choice in, what will I chose to do about an unmade bed?
